What Do You See?

One star differs from another in glory, yet all shine; so one organization comprehends more of the Divine than another; yet all truths are of God. The agitation of thought develops mind. A rap on the head set Newton to thinking. So prone is the human mind to the narrowness of educational prejudices that it often requires severe raps to break the old shell of conservatism and let in the new light of progressive truths.

~ Marcia M. Bullard

[Short Story] White Rose

Why do we say "No"? In order to say "Yes" to what really matters. ~ Miriam Adeney

Be happy

We can have no relationship of depth or authenticity if we insist there is nothing wrong with us, or that it is always the other person’s fault… To refuse to take responsibility and admit our flaws makes the intimacy and love we seek in relationships an impossibility.

~ Hope Has Its Reasons by Rebecca Manley Pippert

A Blind Love

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~ Jacques Prévert

Relationships

There is probably nothing that challenges us more than our relationships, since every aspect, every naunce of our life involves a relationship of some sort. Every waking and sleeping moment, we are engaged in a relationship with something or someone - with our spouse, boss, children, friends; with coworkers, store clerks, strangers; with our thoughts, dreams, body; and finally with ourselves, our higher self, and our God, whatever that means to you. So in many ways, this area of practice is the ultimate one, the final frontier, the one that we can acknowledge without a second thought is ever changing and never ending. We are never completely alone, for even when any given relationship is not active, there is still a connection with that person. And it is important to remember that our behaviour affects those we are in relationship with, and vice versa. Paradoxically, however, we are alone and solely responsible for our actions.

Here's how the practice of being challenged in relationship works.

- Whenever the behaviour of someone else bothers you, turn your focus around, observe your reaction to this person, and ask yoursel what it is about this that disturbs you so much, and why.

- Know that you cannot control anyone else - you can be a guide and a teacher and an example, but you can never determine how someone else will ultimately think or behave.

- Practice giving others the freedom to express and be themselves as they uniquely are, without expecting them to conform to your idea of who they are or who you'd like them to be.

- Communicate, communicate, communicate

- Listen, listen, listen.

- Let the most important human relationship you have to be the one with yourself; from there, you will be able to love others.

- Don't take anything too personally.

- Don't take anyone or anything for granted.

- Express yourself. And rather than pointing out to someone their behaviour is bad or wrong, let them know how their behaviour affects you. Keep it all on your side of the street.

- Be alert, aware, mindful, caring, generous, forgiving, loving, gracious, and kind to yourself and others, all the time, every moment.

And when there is trouble and discord in a relationship, you might take the following advice from St. Francis: '... grant that I may seek rather to comfort than be comforted - to understand than to be understood - to love, than to be loved.' It is by forgving that one is forgiven.

~ Find a Quiet Corner: Inner peace, Anytime Anywhere by Nancy O' Hara pp.128-130.

Detachment

Perhaps the most difficult quiet-corner concept to grasp is that of detachment. Yet it is the key to freedom and peace. The most important question you can ask yourself each time you recognize an attachment to something is "How important is it?"

We all form attachments - to people, places, and things. Fear is most likely the underlying force here - fear of not having enough, fear of being alone, fear of failure, and so on. And our attachments, while we think they are normal and warranted, cause us a great deal of pain. We tend to think that we have control over them. Only when we lose them, or as we struggly to hold on to them, do we learn that we never had them in the first place.

Your quiet corner is the perfect place to sit with yourself and review your attachments, what they mean to you and what it would mean to lose them. It is here that you can learn how to detach yourself from people and things in your life, and to do it with love. And rather than taking you further from the ones you love and making you cold and distant (which is what I once thought detachment was all about), it will bring you closer to people and will teach you how to express love without asking for anything in return. Because you will no longer have an emotional investment in how other people behave, they will gain the freedom to express their love as they need to. And you will learn to love them as they are.

Detaching yourself from the things in your life does not mean doing without or discarding money and nice things. It simply means trying not to make the attainment of such things an end in itself and not allowing them to become all important and the focus of your life. Collect things around you if you must, but be ready to let go of them at any moment with no regrets. Detach from these things before you lose them, and having or not having them will be one and the same.

~Find a Quiet Corner: Inner peace, Anytime Anywhere by Nancy O' Hara pp 81-2

Remedy

The best remedy to the eight worldly concerns is to reflect on impermanence: the changing nature of all things. The pleasant and unpleasant events and experiences of this life are not permanent -- they last only a short time and then disappear. So it is unwise to cling to what is pleasant, wishing it to last forever, or to be upset by what is unpleasant, since it will soon vanish. Furthermore, our very life is impermanent: we are going to die one day and when we do, everything in this life -- relationships, possessions, pleasant and unpleasant memories, reputation, and so on -- will fade and disappear like last night's dream.

~ Awakening a Kind Heart by Ven Sangye Khadro

Giver of Light

To avoid taking a risk, is the biggest risk of all.

The way is not in the sky, the way is in the heart. For the traveler who knows his direction, there is always a favourable wind.

It is not what you learned, but what you do with it that will create your difference. You can fulfill your destiny by helping others.

A thousand candles can be lit from a single candle. Be a giver of light. Use your capacity to inspire and uplift others.

Happiness is not a destination. It is a process, a wondrous, winding journey.

Following the flow is a way of life that sustains us, guides us, and leads us to boundless joy and insight. Life, after all, is for us to live, fully, wonderfully. Go with the flow, because the flow knows where to go.

To change the future, one needs only to change the present, and that anyone's real future begins with a triumphant commitment to the present.

~ Ping a Frog in search of a New Pond by Stuart Avery Gold.

Relationships & Emotions

Relationships of substance and depth are not formed quickly or easily. They require effort, patience, courage, love, and trust. They require self-exploration. They illuminate fear and reveal hidden, painful, and shameful parts of ourselves.

The more intense an emotion is, the more painful are the sensations in your body and the more compulsive are your thoughts.

~ The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness by Gary Zukav & Linda Francis